Rebecca's Visit Day One: Hey There Chump!

The Cuz & I on an Edinburgh Bus Tour

After five full days of adventure Rebecca left yesterday afternoon. I have decided to write five separate entries to mark her momentous visit (as there are so many stories that they will overload your brain if you attempt to read them all at once). On Saturday, April 11th, Rebecca was in Scotland and we immediately set out for adventure times.

We ventured to Greyfriar's Churchyard and Rebecca got acquainted with Little Greyfriar's Bobby (the loyal pup who stayed by his master's grave for fourteen years). And since no trip to Edinburgh is complete without a trip to OINK, we ate pig. It was yummy as always. We meandered the Royal Mile. We rubbed David Hume's toe (his toe has been worn away because for good luck you rub his toe!) and we spat on the Mid-Lothian heart (another thing for luck). We looked inside St. Gile's Cathedral. You had to pay for entrance as well as permission for taking photos. But Rebecca and I decided we were Chinese tourists who spoke no English. But, we were fine! It was a stunning Cathedral. The flying buttresses were my personal favorite.

Greyfrair's Churchyard!

St. Giles Cathedral

Awesome Carvings

Rebecca got to taste the goodness that is Chocolate Soup. We went on a tour bus around Edinburgh. We were FROZEN on that bus. She saw everything Edinburgh had to offer in one sitting! Once we got off the bus, we went to the Edinburgh Dungeon.

The Edinburgh Dungeon was hilarious and fun. It is basically a theme park attraction where they have set up different scenarios so you get a sense of what creepy/haunted Edinburgh was like. They had a torturer, a cannibal, the famous Burke & Hare murders, and so forth. The line was intense and once we got our photo taken of Rebecca be-heading me, I went to bathroom as Rebecca paid. I came back and Rebecca was clutching a glossed program booklet. I questioned the booklet and she just said they handed it to her. I asked to see how much admission was and she handed over the receipt, the booklet was £4.50! I could not control my laughter. They saw Rebecca and decided she was a chump and charged her for the booklet! They sniffed her and declared, "suckkaaaa!" She had no idea, she thought it was a perk from admission! Ahaha.

The whole lot of us got shuffled into this room as a man in robes descended upon us. He bellowed he was the Fairiest Judge in all these parts and that we were there to stand trial. He called on one girl in the auidence and she stood up shaking. She was so nervous and scared that she couldn't even talk. The Judge asked her name and he was met with silence. He then moved on angrily and accused a man of being a cross dresser. We were ushered into the torture chamber where there were skeletons sprawled all over and various mean looking instruments. He called one man, "Hey, you, Furry balls, come sit here." He proceeded to "torture" the man by pulling his tongue out. It was interesting...

We went to the next room which was for cannibals. Being the wise one that I am, I declared to Rebecca, let's stand in the front, because people in the back are always hiding and they're the ones that are usually called on. I looked around and everything was creepy, there were half eaten bodies and in the background through a screen you see people stabbing a man and gnawing on his flesh. When the cannibal looked around she shouted, "You!" I turn to the girl to the right of me. And the the cannibal shouts, "DON'T LOOK AT HER! I want YOU." I pointed to my chest and she nodded vigorously. She asked me in a creepy, eye-bulging way what my name was. When I told her she told me, "You have beautiful eyes, Alex." I said, "why, thank you." The cannibal chucked her head to the side and asked, "Can I have them?" I said, "Uh, no, I like them. I need them for myself." Then in a soft whisper she said, "You only need one..." And she shouted, "Mummmmmmmmyy, I want her eyes. They look so tasty." At that point a body falls from the ceiling, intestines and all exposed. It was a poor replica, but it was jarring! So much for that plan of being invisible when in the front.

Afterwards we got to go on a river "cruise." We were completely emerged in darkness. We sat huddled expecting something to attack us. And there were recordings playing of little children going, "let's flip the boat..." Creepy. We were in the darkness for a good two minutes when people started to scream. Rebecca to my right was jumping, and the woman to my left yelped. I sat there completely calm. I did not know why we were screaming. I was asking, "WHAT?! What happened!?" We were still in the dark...Rebecca told me that something came down on us from the ceiling. Well, I missed that one. So there I was, sitting in a boat full of screaming people not understanding what the hell was going on. Funny.

Another exhibit was when a man brought us into dimly lit hallway. He broke the group into two different lines. I was the start of the second line, exposed. I was expecting something to grab my ankles or attack me! I was staring around like mad. But my focus was on the man in the middle of the hallway that I completely ignored my backside. He disappeared as the ghost of the girl came down from above and he appeared out of NO WHERE to my back. It was startling!!

They had a new addition to the Dungeons, a ride that was a free drop. I could not handle it. So I asked the lady where the exit was and she directed me to go at the end of the hallway and turn right. I ended up in the hall of mirrors, except I did not know that until I nearly walked into my own reflection. Luckily, someone was kind enough to guide me out. As I waited in the reception area for Rebecca a guy comes up to me and goes, "What happened in there? Chickened out?" I was like, "I don't like heights..." Oh dear.

It was a lovely first day full of excitement! Now for the second full day....