I Miss Chaucer.

There I said it. I miss Chaucer. I miss him & his easy Middle English. If I thought Chaucer was difficult, the Pearl Manuscript is like a nuclear explosion going off in my head. There will be casualties (mainly my brain cells dying a slow and vicious death). The Pearl Manuscript, I am convinced is the devil's work meant to torture its modern reader. I'm not painting a clear enough picture of this monstrosity. Let me see. My teacher introduced the text to us by saying, "Oh, don't be alarmed when you don't recognize several letters. They are no longer in the English alphabet." Er?! No longer in the English alphabet?! What are they? Greek? Latin? The thorn and ezh make me think quadruply as hard as I would have had to in Chaucer. Meet the thorn, þ, its pronounced with a "th" sound. So, þat becomes that. Now let me introduce you to (the extinct letter) ezh, ʒ which is pronounced with either a "y" or a "gh". So for example, lyʒt translates to light, ʒet turns into yet. You may think, well that's not too shabby (i'm not trying to get sympathy, just an understanding of the torture i'm enduring). You sprinkle those throughout sentences and it's barely English. Don't believe me? Try this on for size...

Gilofre, gyngure, and gromylyoun,
And pyonys powdered ay bytwene.
Ʒif hit watz semly on to sene,
A fayrre flayr ʒet fro hit flot,
Þer wonys þat worþyly, I wot and wene,
My precious perle wythouten spot.

Enough said. What does that mean? Well, you've got me! I have spent the entire day reading this (I started at 9, it is now 2) and I have gotten through 5 pages. Even if that much. Chaucer, G-dawg, how cruel I was to mock you and scoff at your dream literature, how I wish we could be reunited! Pearl Manuscript, ergh! Bring it on. I will conquer you and you will succumb to my literature prowess! (insert evil laugh--BWAHAHA!) Wish me luck. God knows i'll need it, in LARGE doses.